Photographs: Finding the Truth Hidden in My Past

Sontag states that “one never understands anything from a photograph,” which is partially true in that it is impossible to capture two sides of an argument. For instance, nature photos always show two extremes: the biodiversity and unique lifeforms that inhabit Earth and the effects of human activities on the environment. There is never a balance between beauty and destruction, compassion and cruelty, etc. However, photographs—especially a collection of photos—hold the power to reveal the changes in a person throughout time. Writing may be able to provide a similar truth, but it is often to verbose to directly get to the point and cover a vast expanse of time.

Although I am too embarrassed to upload my baby photo, it shows me next to a karaoke machine surrounded by stuffed animals. According to my parents, I loved to sing. Yes, I know it contrasts completely from my current disposition, but this photo simply demonstrates the vast changes society has had on me. Before, I was a vivacious toddler, not caring about what other people said. Now, that ability of spontaneity is completely gone. I mean the fact that I am too afraid to post my baby photo simply shows how much I changed. I do not know exactly when, but I decided to become serious to live up to expectations that I placed on myself. The stuffed animals are replaced with AP review books and the karaoke machine is nowhere in sight. For the sake of being taken seriously, I have succumbed a great deal to societal pressures—that the lifestyle and personality of a toddler is too frivolous.

The photo was taken from my old house in Raleigh, North Carolina. That home represented the freedom of expression and exploration. I fell in love with nature because I was able to go into the big forest behind my backyard—which has now been almost completely cut down. I was able to connect with the land and to my surroundings. Now, my home in Troy, Michigan represents a change: the need to find something socially acceptable. There is no more forest to foster intellectual growth; I am supplied with artificial textbooks to learn. Even the extreme weather has trapped me in this home. In a way, I still find myself disconnected with this place.

Looking back at my photos brings nostalgia, evoking a stronger emotion than what simply reading writing can supply. But above all, photos hold a unique power to show change and allow for self-reflection. The image of that karaoke machine floods my brain with so many memories that words are incapable of doing; I would never be able to admit my still strong attachment with North Carolina without the sight of a past that I still cherish deep insight my heart. 

Another Day, Another Microaggression

It was a normal Saturday: horrible weather combined with the typical stress versus relaxation warfare occurring in my brain. My life was finally turning for the better because all the stress from March was almost gone, and I survived an eight-day power outage (although this accomplishment would seem a little pretentious to people living in developing nations who lack electricity, clean drinking water, and other common luxuries I take advantage of). Today was the day to celebrate my birthday, which was actually on March 12th but I had too much going on that weekend.

Fast forward to going inside the restaurant, and my family and I are about to face an experience already commonplace for us. As we opened the door, the waitress’s face immediately changed from one that was warm and friendly to one that was cold. We stood there for a few seconds before she decided to acknowledge our presence and ask grumpily, “how many?” We replied accordingly to which she simply rolled her eyes and grabbed the menus. She eventually led us to this booth that was extremely gross—not only was it very dimly lit, but it also had visible crumbs all over it. We immediately asked if we could go to another booth, preferably one by the windows. This infuriated the waitress who spoke into her microphone to another waitress saying loudly, “they want to sit at a table near a window… do we even have any available?” Eventually she led us to a new table and left the three menus there and quickly left.

At first I did not think much about it. What if the waitress was just having a bad day? We all have those days where we do not feel like doing anything. However, this was not the case. My mom was the first to notice. When greeting a white family, she obliged to their every request. She did not even offer the horrible table to them. When we paid the bill and left, an African-American family was just getting seated in which they were offered the deplorable table that we were offered before. It is as if they reserved that set area just to torment anyone of a different race.

This microaggression we faced is only one of many we have faced in our lives. As Dr. Sue said, “microaggressions for people of color are constant, continual, and cumulative. They occur to people of color from the moment of birth to when they die.” The ones that have occurred to me the most are: where are you actually from? Where are you from from? So if you’re Asian, you’re supposed to be good at math right? Why can’t you solve this math problem, you’re Asian? However, there is some sense of hope. These microaggressions are definitely less frequent today than when my parents first came to America. It is a continuous process to change people’s perception to solve these racial issues.

The Ultimate Paradox

Sorry for being political again, but the essence of Environmental Science is its interdisciplinary nature. You cannot just focus on the science; you have to encompass social, economic, political, scientific, etc. aspects. According to Trump’s new Office of Management and Budget proposal, the government plans to cut the Environmental Protection Agency’s budget by more than 25%. Although this could lead to an increase in economic growth, but in the long term, no growth can occur without a sustainable environment. It is the ultimate paradox. The public is blindly focusing on the economic success and not enough on the environment—the ultimate basis of all organisms living on Earth.

“The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive”

This type of mentality only serves to belittle years of scientific evidence of global warming. Environmentalists’ “beliefs are opinions only” (Williams 936). Although Trump is right in that Chinese has higher emission levels, he fails to notice the extended efforts to decrease emissions. In reality, China is leading in alternative energy to provide sustainable energy without environmental damage. The Three Gorges Dam, for example, generates massive quantities of hydroelectric power. However, more research needs to be done because the original construction of the dam displaced many people and killed many animals, decreasing biodiversity.

Three Gorges Dam in China

The world needs to lose its obsession of looking solely in the short term. Sure “financial loss is a serious matter,” but a destroyed environmental will lead to the inevitable “financial loss” (Williams 936). Plus, everyone at Troy High School should take AP Environmental Science with Mr. Zynda because its an amazing class!

There Is No Unmarked Person

The Black Swan: a psychological thriller-horror film in which Natalie Portman transforms into the innocent, professional ballerina Nina. Throughout the movie, Nina goes through a metamorphosis from fragile to “damaged” to achieve the perfection—the black swan—that she desires so much, leading to her imminent death. On both sides, the white and black swan, Nina becomes marked.

The white swan represents the innocence and perfection that Nina already holds. Up until now, she has never experienced the “adult” things—lust, lying, and addiction—that are supposed to bring out the opposite nature that she holds. The pink room and her name serve to trap her into the grip of her scrupulous mother, bent on coddling her through adulthood while also restraining her from growing up because of her jealousy of seeing Nina become the professional ballerina that she never was. Thomas, the director, constantly criticizes her need to follow everything exactly and never letting go. As with all children, Nina is marked by her innocence; she is seen as babyish and neurotic. This torment forces all children to grow up and transform into a damaged version of themselves to achieve the carefree, effortless, and imprecise personality.

The black swan represents the greed, thievery, resentment, blame, and vengeance that comes with growing up and facing the evils of reality. Nina subjects herself to having sex, lying to her mother, and taking ecstasy to succumb to the black swan that she desperately wishes to become. It is in the final scene where Nina allows her inner darkness to shine by stabbing Lily, the backup dancer that has already achieved the black swan. However, in reality, Nina only stabbed herself which metaphorically allowed her to shed the outer perfection and engulf herself with evil. Despite achieving this status, Nina has inadvertently marked herself. Beth, the dying swan who was replaced by Nina for the role of the swan queen, represents the tarnished nature of growing up. Even though Beth has subjected herself to the horrors of the world, she is rejected by Thomas because of her old age and corruption. Becoming the black swan means marking oneself as dirty and corrupted—addicted to sex, drugs, and loose morals.

Similarly, children who subject themselves to this cycle of abuse are marked by society as deplorable; they become rejected by everyone, which leads to internal torment. Even without growing up to the extreme parts of society, children mark themselves in that they should be more responsible and a role model for other younger children. This unachievable balance between the white and black swan leads people, especially Nina, to internal torment and self-harm. The innocence that society values yet despises and the corruption and growth that society values yet despises creates no alternatives: “there is no unmarked [person]” (Tannen 556).

*Ms. Valentino: we should watch The Black Swan after the AP because there are so many symbols, motifs, and deeper meanings within the movie that we can discuss!

Unequal Gender Ratio

California Institute of Technology: a Garden of Eden for innovation in science and engineering. They have an amazing alumni network with 34 Nobel Prize winners and 71 winners of the US National Medal of Science or Technology. Not to mention, it is frequently mentioned in the media: Leonard and Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory are physicists at Caltech and Ocean’s eleven stole an electromagnetic pulse generator from the institute. However, the campus is the epitome of a gendered space—41% of undergraduates and only 29% of graduate students are women. Compared to Oberlin College that was coed since 1833, Caltech only decided to admit women since 1970!

What accounts for this disparity? From birth girls are given dolls and mini kitchens and guys are given blocks—toys that require more logic and engenders a passion for engineering. Naturally, women are not pushed to pursue careers in engineering (math, physics, etc.); it becomes this self-fulfilling prophecy: girls are told that they are bad at math and that they are more creative, leading to more “normal” professions such as fashion designers, writers, models. I still remember when I was little how my Dad told me to watch him do an oil change to gain practical skills in the future. However, both my sisters—although they were not interested in the first place—were not forced to observe. These experiences, universal to all cultures, breed a society that scoffs at women who try to pursue careers outside of the norm.

After years of being pushed towards other pursuits, girls pursue other passions, and Caltech finds itself with an extremely skewed gender ratio. But it is not just a matter of the statistics. I know two senior girls who have visited and applied to these schools who have felt that the community is very divided. Simply being a girl is an anomaly, which hinders women from realizing their full potential. Of course, the school has initiatives to help lessen the disparities, but these glaring differences still persist on campus. Caltech becomes a Mecca for aspiring male engineers with a few female students who have the courage to break all social standards; it presents itself as an obstacle rather than an accepting community for women. To truly get rid of the gendered standard requires an ideological shift and removal of all disparities of opportunities from boys and girls. 

Irony for Thought

*This is not my extra credit blog post. Please scroll down to read my weekly blog post!*

It is currently Monday, 12:27 AM. I randomly thought about this and felt that I needed to pose this question to you guys. Chick-Fil-A's slogan is "Eat Mor Chikin." I guess the cows felt like they were victimized and deserved to live instead of the chickens. However, whenever I go to Chick-Fil-A, I decide to order their Cookies and Cream Milkshake, which by the way is absolutely amazing. What makes it more civil to inject the cows with hormones to produce unnatural amounts of milk to then be hooked up to a machine to milk their utters for the rest of their life than to simply end their life. Are the Chick-Fil-A cows on the advertisements aware of this injustice? If they are trying to "boycott" the use of cow meat, why are they not boycotting all cow products?

Eat Mor Irony

A Modest College Proposal

It is a melancholy object to those who walk through this great school or travel in Troy, when they see the hallways, the classrooms, and group chats, crowded with college hopefuls of the adolescent age, followed by their 20-pound backpacks, all with a face of physical exhaustion and stress. These students instead of being able to easily get into their dream college, are forced to employ all their time in stressing about news reports of record breaking application pools and decreasing admission rates.

I think it is agreed by all parties that this prodigious number of students in schizophrenia is in the present deplorable state of the Troy School District; and, therefore, whoever could find out a more efficient method to guarantee college admissions would deserve so well of the Troy community as to have his or her statue set up for a preserver of the students’ mental and physical life.

I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.

I have been assured by very knowledgeable students from HYPSM, that College Confidential is the source of guidance for aspiring high school students. It is filled with the most accurate, inspiring, invaluable, and candid advice; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve well for babies, middle and high school students.

I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration that of the 2,000 students at Troy High, ~99% face extensive levels of stress to get into the college of their dreams; however, only a fraction will achieve their goals. With the use of College Confidential’s advice, Troy High could maximize the number of students reaching the perfect college with extensive scholarship money to pay for the outrageous prices to attend a university. The current average student debt after graduating an undergraduate institution is $30,100. With the extensive guidance from the website, that number can surely be reduced to zero by receiving scholarships and grant money.

As prescribed by many students from the College Confidential website, to get into HYPSM or any top college a student must do the following:

1. Get perfect SAT or ACT scores
2. Be rank #1 by having a 4.0 unweighted GPA and the highest possible weighted GPA (near 5.0 if possible)
3. Take 20+ AP classes
4. Do as many clubs as possible and get leadership positions
5. Become internationally famous by winning prestigious competitions
6. Become a nationally or internationally ranked athlete or musician

Most importantly, College Confidential states the following:

1. Do not waste time sleeping, eating, drinking or relaxing
2. Become a robot with no real passion and emotions
3. Be superficial in nature
4. Believe that getting into college is the most important task in life

Advice like this will guarantee any student admission to their top college desires and reduce their stress levels significantly. Many other advantages might be enumerated. For example, the success of all students will increase school recognition; which will directly lead to increase in federal funding to improve the quality of the school. No longer will there be budget cuts that force teachers to spend money out of their pocketbook instead of helping sustain their own lives; the ~10-year-old textbooks will be replaced with the newest ones on the market to guarantee student success; and most importantly, students will be given more opportunities to allow them to realize their full potential.

I profess, in the sincerity of my heart, that I have not the least personal interest in endeavoring to promote this necessary use of College Confidential, having no other motive than the students’ good of my city, by advancing Troy High, relieving the financial strain on teachers, and providing for adolescents. I am already far too old by which I can benefit from the website.

*HYPSM = Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford, MIT (College Confidential terminology) 

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I decided to post this because someone asked me on Thursday, “how’s your road to HYPSM going?” I was immediately taken aback—as if my existence depended only on my academic success to get to a top college. In all seriousness’s sake, do not go near College Confidential. The part about knowledgeable students is completely made-up; they in fact state the opposite: never go on that website. It is filled with wrong advice and is too focused on simply getting into college. You will become so obsessed with reading peoples’ perfect resume—which does not mean anything in the long run. Pave your own path and remember that it is just high school (HAVE FUN)! Your self-worth and chance for success in the real world is not dependent on what college you can go to. 

However, Chick-Fil-A is actually good for you compared to College Confidential