FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)

“No. Travis, you stay right here. And you make him understand what you doing, Walter Lee. You teach him good. Like Willy Harris taught you. You show where our five generations done come to” (Hansberry 147).

Family values transcend through each generation. Mama’s five generations believed in fighting for one’s family, trying to stay as a homogenous family unit. When Walter tries to sell the house to Mr. Lindner, he is metaphorically exchanging all the morals he has been taught for money. In effect, he will be empty inside, consumed by the societal ideal to achieve a higher socioeconomic status in life. However, Mama allows Travis to stay and “grin innocently” (Hansberry 147). Although Walter has already lost his innocence, he cannot take himself to destroy Travis’s innocence; he does not want Travis to see him trade his morals for money and see his black culture be subservient to the white race. As Travis looks up to Walter for guidance, Walter does not want him to feel trapped in a society filled with racial divisions. Instead, Walter’s decision acts as a model for Travis to stand up for his beliefs, fighting injustice and not giving in.

Loss of generational values is seen even in our 11 AP class. Our parents all went to school without advanced smartphones to text in class, snapchat, tweet, etc. Talking face-to-face and hanging out with friends is now being replaced with hours spent trying to take the perfect selfie or video to upload on one’s snap story. Despite regulations put in place to limit cellphone use, our generation has the audacity to continue using our phones constantly in class, having our eyes glued to our tiny screens. In a way, we have all adopted FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). This fear of regret—loss of social interaction—permeates through our minds; we adopt this obsession to know exactly what is going on in society at every moment. One ring from our phones makes everyone in class wonder if they received a notification, turning our attention to our phones. Now I am not saying that I am the perfect person. I waste copious amounts of time just refreshing Facebook to see if anyone posted something new. Snapchat almost trapped me into a cycle of destruction this summer: trying to maintain Snapchat streaks.

 

This is me trying to keep my Snapchat streaks

However, we must return to our past generation’s values; we must take the conscientious effort to ignore our phones when they get a new notification; we must limit our social media usage; we must concentrate what is in front of us; we must respect others. Travis reminds Walter of the 5 generations of family values just as Val should remind us of our past generation’s values. Is it worth it to check our phone or should we focus on our education? (however, I am left to wonder how students from last year got so many photos of Val for their memes)

A Dream Deferred

It was 1998, just four years after my parents immigrated to the US; they were hoping to achieve that American Dream—a stable life having the ability to do what they wanted. I was not born until 2000, but my parents and two older sisters lived comfortably in Raleigh, North Carolina. It was at that time when my mom’s dream was deferred.

My mom tells me the story like it was yesterday. An old man was selling his gas station because he wanted to retire and move to Florida with his family. Finding out about this one in a lifetime opportunity, my mom instantly wanted to invest. The best part about the deal was that the owner did not even expect a down payment. He told her that “the profits you make minus your living expenses can be paid to me until you eventually pay it off.” This was the ultimate deal. Showing interest in leadership as a child, my mom saw this as the perfect opportunity to exercise her freedom that was not given to her in China. She would no longer have to be told by her teachers that women cannot take leadership positions. She would challenge the patriarchy that runs our society. She could enhance our family’s life in America and achieve her lifelong dream. 

Despite the perfect offer, my dad had reservations about this. What if we ended up losing money? What if we could never pay the man back? What if…? It posed too big of a risk, and my dad was not willing to take it. After experiencing the poverty that plagued China at that time, my dad could not imagine ending up on the streets of America, begging for money. He, on the other hand, wanted to make a stable income from his job and save money for our college tuitions gradually, avoiding any major risks as possible. With that, my mom’s dream was deferred.

My parents will never forget the 1960s.

Now, almost 19 years past, my mom’s dream is starting to “dry up like a raisin in the sun…[and] sag like a heavy load.” After that offer, my mom was never given another opportunity. Her main focus from then on was to give me and my sisters the best education possible—to provide for us what she was never able to achieve. I think this is what motivates me and my sisters. My mom could have easily spent the thousands of dollars our parents are spending on us to go to college. Not only are they willing to pay for our undergraduate education, but they are also willing to take loans out if we need them. My mom’s dream did not have to be deferred because my dad would not have to worry about providing for us. How could we possibly complain about how challenging our lives are when my mom gave up the only dream she had? How could we hate school when my mom’s dream was deferred to pay for it?

My mom’s altruism made her dream change into seeing us succeed in the future. However, deep down, I know that she still wants to start her own business. And one day when I receive my first paycheck, I will defer my dreams, like my mom did 19 years ago, so she can fulfill hers before I care about my own.

Someday I will return the sacrifices my parents made.

  

Borne Back Ceaselessly Into the Past

“Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter—tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. . . . And then one fine morning—

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” (180).

This passage concludes the novel in the most profound way. Gatsby is no longer the only one chasing an unachievable dream; instead, “we” all will try to run towards our goals. Our whole lives are built around trying to achieve meaning in society. Although many people try and ignore this fact, we will all eventually die. Everything that we have worked so hard to achieve will lead us to become another statistic; our lives will simply be noted on a death certificate; all of our memories will vanish to nonexistence. This almost reminds me of my AP Environmental project I did last week. We were counting the number of people who died within certain age groups, not even taking note of the person’s name. All those people on the list who probably wanted to reach something in life were turned only into one line on a page:

Name, Date of Birth, Date of Death.

Gatsby’s whole life was defined by his hope to recreate the past—to go back five years and marry Daisy. The more he worked to achieve his goal, the more it moved farther away from him. Using an ellipsis, Fitzgerald highlights the long, dragged out cycle in our lives, only to achieve nothing. This repetitive life that we choose to chase a dream that—in reality—is not even possible to achieve. The American Dream that is the epitome of America’s history is only to be an illusion. Something so well know, but so abstract.

This passage also reminded me of a poem by Langston Hughes:

What happens to a dream deferred?

      Does it dry up

      like a raisin in the sun?

      Or fester like a sore—

      And then run?

      Does it stink like rotten meat?

      Or crust and sugar over—

      like a syrupy sweet?

      Maybe it just sags

      like a heavy load.

      Or does it explode?

I would argue that Gatsby’s dream goes through the same process of decay that African American dreams go through, as described in the poem. Although Gatsby continues to believe that his dream is possible, it actually becomes the explosion that kills him. The “East…that distorted beyond my eyes’ power of correction” makes the American Dream impossible; the corruption and dirt infiltrates Gatsby’s dream. How can Gatsby’s dream be fulfilled in such an unyielding earth?

Another unachievable dream: Watching The Great Gatsby in class J