Chinese Patriarchy

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"My mom once said, 'I wish Heather would have been a boy then I could brag about her.'"

The Chinese culture has always been sexist, believing that women are less than men. Men would usually work labor intensive jobs, and women would do the housework. This idea that women should work at home and be dependent on men has led many Chinese parents to focus on marriage and having children. The fact that Mrs. Yang was told by her mom that she still wished her daughter was a boy in order to brag shows how male oriented Chinese culture is—the only way to have pride in one’s life is to have a successful son. Even Chinese movies and television shows uphold the image of men being more valuable than women.

Even though my parents are not as sexist as Mrs. Yang’s parents, my parents still have some gendered stereotypes; they believe men are more math and science oriented and women are more literature and arts oriented. Even though I tell them about famous people who have broken these preconceptions, they still believe them (probably because my sisters and I fit into these stereotypes). My sisters are better writers and I am better in science—however, it is hard to use scores to quantify who is better at a subject. Although my parents will never deign to admit it, they probably had three children just to have at least one son (I am the youngest).

However, they do not believe that “feeding girls is feeding cowbirds” (Kingston 46) or think that my sisters get “A’s for the good of [their] future husband’s family” Kingston 47). My parents cherish my sisters and I equally and support whatever we want to do in the future. Even though my mom has some gendered beliefs, she still supports female empowerment because she has faced many sexist remarks as a child; she was always told that men would be preferred in society, like getting admitted to college—Chinese colleges would allow men with lower test scores compared to women. This motivated her to excel academically and physically to overcome these restrictions. It is paradoxical that my mom still has some sexist beliefs, even though she broke gender stereotypes in China.

I always ask my mom why she does not try and help change our sexist society. She replies with the same response: there is not much I can do to change the ideology of the world, and employers are going to still discriminate against women. However, this will never stop her from supporting my sisters to do whatever they want in life. She wants to give all of us the freedom she never got from a patriarchal country.

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The freedom that all women deserve can only be achieved through a shift in ideology in our country. In order to create equality, stereotypes and gender roles need to be broken; there should not be jobs and activities “fit” for one gender. No matter how long the process takes, the change in thought process needs to emphasize the ability of women to achieve anything men can do.  

                                      SUBVERT THE PATRIARCHY!